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Perhepäivähoitajasta tukiperheeksi

Poika on edelleen isän kanssa reissussa, joten tänään ei päästä touhuihin mukaan. Mutta pojan elämään suuresti vaikuttava asia, tukiverkosto. Asia josta ei mielestäni voi puhua liikaa, eikä heitä voi kiittää koskaan liikaa.

Asia joka saa tunteet pintaan monissa paikoissa. Toisilla tukiverkko on hyvin pieni tai sitä ei ole ollenkaan. Toiset tuntevat asian hyvin epäreilunakin ja kyllähän se sitä osiltaan onkin. Kunnissa on suuria eroja pienilläkin välimatkoilla.

Meillä asiat on hyvin. Kunta tukee sekä suku ja ystävät. Tässä on vuosien aikana kyllä eroteltu hyvin ystävät ja kaverit. Moni on tippunut kyydistä, timantit on pysynyt matkassa ja uusiakin on saatu retkelle.

Tukiperhe. Perhe josta voisin kirjoittaa vaikka romaanin. Aivan mahtavan täydellinen meidän pienille ihmisille. Paikka johon lapset vien miettimättä, onko kaikki mukana, pärjäätäänkö siellä,muistetaanko lääkkeet ja ennen kaikkea ymmärretäänkö siellä. Jokaiselle tukiperheen tarpeessa olevalle toivoisin tälläisen perheen.

Palataan vuoteen 2011. Pieni poika vaaleensinissä nalle puh saappaissa tepasteli punaisen omakotitalon pihaan. Siinä me ympärille katseltiin ja mietittiin, jos kemia toimii niin tämä paikka on huippu. Lähellä mutta kuitenkin aivan luonnon keskellä, piha täynnä aktiviteettia. Suuri saksanpaimen katseli meitä epäilevästi tarhasta. Jälkeenpäin selvisi, tässä kodissa koirallakin on valtavan suuri sydän.

Sohvalla hetken istuttuamme poika tepsutti päättäväisesti takan eteen, tarttui kahvaan ja oli aikeissa avata sen. Hoitotäti kielsi lempeästi, mutta samalla jämäkästi. Kyllä tämä on mahdollista. Tämän perheen vanhemmat ovat jämäköitä, mutta reiluja kasvattajia. Poika kääntyi kannoillaan, kunnes taas meni koittamaan. Muutaman kerran sitä koittaa piti, ennen kuin meni perille saakka kielto. Ikää tuolla pienellä hurmurilla oli tuolloin 1v 9kk. Tästä alkoi pienen miehen hoitoura. Muutamasti hoitopaikka on vaihtunut, mutta lopulta palattiin takaisin tänne.

Perheen vanhempia on ollut aina helppo lähestyä, ei ole ollut asiaa jota en olisi uskaltanut heiltä kysyä. Täällä ei ikinä vähätelty tai katseltu alta kulmien. Aikanaan pikkusisko tuli samaan hoitopaikkaan. Hänet otettiin vastaan samalla reiluudella mutta jämäkkyydellä. Nämä sisarukset on kuin yö ja päivä keskenään. Molemmat on olleet koko ajan samassa arvossa. Molemmat on kohdeltu yksilöinä. Ei ole ollut aamua etten olisi halunnut lapsia perheeseen viedä. Päivien päätteeksi lapsia hakiessa, usein kyllä törmäsin reaktioon, ”äiti ei vielä, meillä on leikki kesken”. Monesti itkun kanssa kotiin lähdettiin, vitsailtiinkin monesti lasten muutosta heille.

Jossain kohtaa meille suositeltiin kunnan toimesta tukiperhettä. Olin hyvin vastahakoinen. En halunnut antaa lapsiani vieraan ihmisen kotiin yökyläilemään. Kerran lapsia hakiessani muistan sanoneeni hoitotädille, ”nyt ne meinaavat pojalle tukiperhettä”, muuta en tästä keskustelusta muista. Meni päivä tai pari muistaakseni, kun jälleen hain lapsia hoidosta. Hoitotäti sanoi, ”puhuttiin tuossa perheen isän kanssa tukiperhe asiaa. Alkaisimme mielellämme teidän tukiperheeksi, jos hyväksytte”. Muistan edelleen sen onnen ja hymyn, samalla ajattelin että kyllä tässä joku mönkään menee. Soitin välittömästi kunnan sosiaalityöntekijälle ja kerroin asian, hän lupasi selvittää ja palata asiaan. Ei mennyt kauan, kun hän jo soitti, ”kyllä se käy, he ovatkin jo kunnan tukiperhelistalla”. Taas vain itkin, tällä kertaa itkin onnesta, helpotuksesta ja ilosta. Taisin samasta hetkestä soittaa perheeseen ja kertoa myönteisestä päätöksestä. Näin perhepäivähoitajasta ja hänen perheestään tuli myös tukiperhe. Poika ja pikkusisko alkoivat käymään kerran kuukaudessa yökyläilemässä perheen luona. Intoa puhkuen kyseltiin koska on viikonloppu jolloin he menevät perheeseen, tarkkaan mietittiin mitkä uninallet mukaan pakattiin.

Perhe saa kunnan maksaman korvauksen lapsista. Monesti olen kuullut kuinka hyvää rahakasta bisnestä tekevät lapsillani. Teille jokaiselle voin sano, että ei. Tämä perhe ei tee lapsilla rahaa, eipä korvaus niin järin suuri ole. Perhe vie lapsia uimahalliin, hoploppiin, onpa isä käynyt kartinki radallakin näiden kanssa. Se raha jonka he saavat, ei varmasti kata näitä ikimuistoisia reissuja ja muita ylläpitokuluja. Josta päästäänkin meidän lasten lempi aiheeseen, hoitotädin ruoka. Se taivaallinen, terveellinen kotiruoka. Kotona kuulen monesti, ”ei tämä oo ollenkaan niinkun hoitotädin tekemä”. Pari kolme vuotta meni, kun poika kelpuutti valkokastikkeeni. Eihän se vieläkään ollut kuin hoitotädin tekemä, mutta sai arvosanan ”ihan hyvä, nyt voi jo syödä”. Monesti luulisi ettei nämä kotona saa ruokaa ollenkaan, syövät nimittäin hoitotädillä ämpäri kaupalla. Ja se puuro, tuo herrojen herkku. Sellasta puuroa kuin hoitotäti tekee, siihen ei pysty kukaan. Tähän aiheeseen voidaan palata myöhemmin itse pojan kirjoittamana.

Nyt eletään vuotta 2016, meillä on edelleen tämä ihana perhe elämässä mukana. Nyt vain tukiperheenä ja omaishoidonvapaiden lomittajana. Poika on siirtynyt eka luokalle ja pikkusiskokin jo eskariin. Molemmat ehtivät taittaa mahtavan melkein neli vuotisen taipaleen hoidossa. Nykyään huomaankin toisinaan vaipuvan ajatukseen, lapset kasvaa. Niinhän ne totisesti tekee, mitä sinä päivänä kun tukiperhe tarvetta ei enää ole? Kuinka osaan jatkaa eteenpäin? Tästä perheestä on vuosien aikana tullut enemmän ystäväperhe kuin minkään tahon ”määräämä” tukitoimi. Ainoa toive tälle perheelle onkin, päivä jolloin tukiperhe päättyy niin ystävyys jatkuu.

Ikinä milloinkaan ei tarpeeksi teitä pystytä kiittämään, siihen ei mitkään maailman sanat riitä. Tätäkin kirjoittaessa useamman kerran on saanut silmäkulmaa pyyhkiä ja palaa selvittää kurkusta.

Enempään en pysty kuin suuri kiitos <3

Lopuksi vielä hyvää kansainvälistä vammaisten päivän viimeistä tuntia 🙂

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